Last November was the mid-term of my 6 months Professional Coaching Certification program.
It was a special milestone that I looked forward to. A timely opportunity to measure my development and competency as a coach.
The 2-day mid-term workshop was packed with practice drills.ย I started the workshop feeling confident.
As the drills progressed, my confidence started to dip. I was called out for gaps in my listening and questioning techniques.
The foundational skills of a coach.
By the end of 2 days, it became clear I was not as competent as I had ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ of myself. I began to see I was not as good as I ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐.
To realise I was ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ช๐๐ struck me hard. Very hard.
A voice in my head questioned โ๐๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ, ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด? I had let myself down.
My mind space was completely clouded in doubts the following week.
I couldnโt coach. Neither did I want to.
That Friday, I presented my issue as a โ๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ตโ during a team practice session.
A peer coach asked โ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ (๐ฎ๐บ) ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด?โ
It came across as a redundant question.
โ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅโ, I answered as a matter of fact.
Somehow, her question stayed in my mind that night.
Now, โ๐๐๐โ sets those expectations, I pondered.
I finally understood ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ช๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃย by the next morning.
In that instance, everything made sense!
It became clear my parentsโ expectations of me as a child had stayed with me. It has shaped my self-expectations to this day.
This new clarity showed me where my self-judgement came from.
It gave me control to change my narrative.
That I donโt have to prove my worth to anyone.
Not least, to ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ซ๐ค๐๐๐ย in my head.
This realisation changed my perspective about my self-doubts. I became less afraid and learned to appreciate that they exist for a reason. ๐
In my case, it was protecting me from the stress I experienced as a child from not meeting othersโ expectations.
I shifted from being deflated to gaining control of my negative self-narratives. ๐
Fast forward 4 months.
It was pleasing when a master coach commented last week that I had improved by leaps since the mid-term workshop.
๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ง๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐๐
Self-doubting is normal. Everyone experienced it at some point.
It doesnโt mean you are weak.
Recognise this voice is ๐ก๐ข๐ง you.ย โ
When ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ detach from it, you gain the power of control.
Our narratives give colour to our lives. ๐
When you understand yourself better, you start to give your best self to the people around you. ๐
PS: What ๐ข๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐ can you attach to your doubts? โฌ
