Category: #ICAN stories

Growing up in Marine Parade in the 80s, East Coast Park (ECP) has always held a special place in my heart.

Every evening, my caretaker (an elderly neighbour in his 60s), would bring me to ECP for his daily walk.

It was the highlight of my day, as I listened to his fascinating life stories as a sailor, husband, and father.

To this day, ECP’s nostalgia brings me back to my childhood on every visit.

Last Sunday evening, I was back at the ECP.

I sat on a bench looking out at the sea the same way I used to.
Recalling those beautiful memories I shared with my caretaker as a kid.

Not knowing, an elderly man came and sat beside me on the bench.

After 10 mins, he caught my glance at him,
“ah, beautiful, isn’t it? What do you do?”

I explained I left my corporate career to start my coaching practice Positive Minds last year.

“Why did you do that?”, he asked, looking puzzled.

Feeling compelled to justify my answer, I replied
“I want to help people who feel small and wish they could (achieve more), because that was me.”

“You’re crazy!” he laughed.

The old man went on,
“But crazy is good. When you are my age, you don’t care what others think(of you). What you care about are the things you did not do”. he said with a smile as if he was reflecting on his life.

“Go on, make stories that you can tell your grandchildren about.” he added, which sets me thinking.

What is my story?

How would I want my story to be told?

Often, we are overwhelmed by our daily juggle between work, family and other commitments.

Not knowing, we are drafting each page of our life stories every day.

As authors of our lives, we decide how our story unfolds.

This may sound crazy.

But if I could help others start a fresh chapter in their stories, I would be glad with the decisions and sacrifices I made.

Then, my new chapter as a coach would be a story that’s worth sharing.

The old man smiled as he looked at me in the eye.

I smiled and we parted ways without another word.

That old man is 𝘮𝘺 elderly future self.

What about you?

I’d love to hear your story. DM me or share in comment. 🙂

PS: This ‘elder self’ is a self-reflection exercise as part of my Coaching development with Positive Intelligence (PQ). We are to visualize what we could discover from the wiser/elder version of ourselves.

My inbox received a few pleasant surprises over the past weeks.

These were DMs from former peers in my corporate days.
Some of whom I have not been in contact with for 10 years.

They were more than a note of ‘hello, well done’.
They were heartwarming reminders of ‘what ifs.’

Last October, I was confident my corporate experience as a client strategist would give me a good start as a solopreneur.

Years of developing business strategies and Marketing plans would prepare me for possible headwinds.

When I was hit by a force least expected, I didn’t know what struck me.

Suddenly, the path ahead seemed more daunting than I had ever anticipated.

This force would soon become a familiar visitor in the coming months.

It was that voice that questioned my ability and doubted my creditability.
An experience also known as imposter syndrome.

𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥.

It struck me twice, when I started coaching and when I had to put myself ‘out there’.

It struck the 3rd time when a new challenge surfaced recently.

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲?

While I confronted and overcame my challenges on the first 2 occasions, I chickened out this time.

Reflecting on my decision, I realized what if I hadn’t jumped over my first 2 hurdles?
This 3rd challenge would not be possible.

Yet I was sure I was confronted by mountains when faced with those 2 early challenges.

So what turned my mountains into hurdles?

Mindset. What we chose to see.

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭.

Today, I am celebrating imposter syndrome as a sign of courage.
For scaling new grounds and pursuing things I deeply care about.

I want to embrace my initial anxiety as fuel to keep pushing forward.

This is my invitation to you:

❇️Think about the times you felt like an imposter.

❇️Write down what you learned and how it helped you grow.

❇️Share it with someone you trust and encourage them to do the same.

Let’s recognize imposter syndrome as a show of courage.
Not a sign of weakness.

It’s the sensation you experience ONLY when you challenge yourself beyond your current limits.

I made a promise I would not chicken out again.

I am ready to jump my next hurdle.

How did you overcome yours? 😃

As I approach my final year in my 40s, I took a mini-sabbatical this week – my first overseas solo vacation to recharge and reflect on my first half of 2024.

During my time alone, I reflected on the 10 most important insights I have gained that have shaped my journey since starting a new path last year.

It also reminded me of the many wonderful individuals I have met on this path for whom I am thankful.

I want to share my reflection with you as a reminder of what you can find when you seek with an open mind.

𝟏.𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭.
↳Measure perfection by what it costs instead of what it offers.

𝟐. 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐎𝐔.
↳Be the best friend with that person in the mirror.

𝟑. 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞.
↳Celebrate your new beliefs, confidence, knowledge and connections!

𝟒. 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲.
↳Focus on what you can control and celebrate growth even when results don’t measure up to your efforts (yet).

𝟓. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.
↳But there is a time for everything. Give yourself and the situation space.

𝟔. 𝐆𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 – 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 = 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
↳The only way forward is by taking action, not by thinking.

𝟕. 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰.
↳What happens tomorrow doesn’t matter today. Start today.

𝟖. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞.
↳If you don’t trust YOU, no one else will.

𝟗. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.
↳Accept sometimes the best solution doesn’t involve you.

𝟏𝟎. 𝐁𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐳𝐚𝐧, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐨.
↳You can never win alone. Build your tribe and remember those who showed up for you.

Do you relate to any of these reflections?
Share in comment how it has helped your progress in 2024.
I’d love to hear about your journey. 🌟

Today marks my 50th consecutive post since I became ‘active’ on LinkedIn.

50 posts may not sound like a big deal.
Yet, writing today’s post fills me with satisfaction.

Life has a unique way of teaching us. ✨

You see, 50 posts ago, I felt I had nothing valuable to contribute on this platform. I was an introvert embarrassed by his writing.

Stepping out from 25 years of corporate life, expressing myself on a public platform and showing up consistently was more difficult than I had anticipated.

But I made a commitment.
That I’ll do the hard work to stop the pain.

50 consecutive posts later, it is still difficult to craft a purposeful post on some days. And that’s ok.

Along the way, I learned that …

𝟗𝟗% 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐟𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝
→ None of the criticism and trolling that I anticipated happened!
→ Fear holds a grip on you only when you allow it.

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 #𝟏 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬
→ I fought hard on days when I felt ‘I’m just not good for this’.
→ Progress is what you’ll find when giving up is not an option.

hashtag#𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞
→ I learned new skills in content creation, storytelling, and entrepreneurial mindset from engaging with other people.
→ You can, if you choose to.

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝.
→ The tribe is real! New connections who have shared their time, knowledge and experience so generously to wish me well.
→ Finding your tribe makes a big difference.

𝐌𝐲 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
→ That I can contribute in my unique way.
→ We deprive others and ourselves by keeping silent.

What I did over the past 6 months has transformed my resistance into a unique voice on LinkedIn.

𝐌𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭?
An unexpected DM from a stranger. 💌

If you are reading this, thank you, @J.

You were the first person to reach out because of my content and not my job title.

Your message in February pushed me to pursue what I didn’t trust I was capable of. Without it, I may not have made it to #50.

I hope this post shows you can do it too. 👊

We get better by doing the work that we have been avoiding.

It’s our choice. 🙌

When I started coaching last October, my goal was to bring others’ #ICAN stories to life.

This is X’s story … (shared with client’s consent)

X was a shy executive whom I used to mentor.

When we reconnected last November, I saw his pride when he told me he was the founder of a boutique Marketing agency.

As a business owner, he felt the constant pressure of “needing to have all the answers”.
He was exhausted from carrying the expectations alone.

He wanted to regain his confidence to lead his business into its next growth phase.

X became my first client that day.

Over the course of our 6 sessions, X and I partnered to:

→ Rebuild his confidence as a leader
→ Challenge and reframe his existing beliefs

𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟑 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐒+ 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, we began by uncovering the impact of his narratives on his decisions and actions.

𝟐 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐝:

1. His confidence in:
→ his ability to scale the business
→ his team’s quality of work and capability

2. His perception of his agency:
→ not favoured by big clients
→ overshadowed by bigger competitors

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐗 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐛𝐲:

→ examining the basis of his assumptions.
→ realizing how they have affected his confidence
→ understanding the reasons for his negative biases
→ realizing how that has influenced his leadership style
→ recognizing how that led to his tendencies to play small

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐗 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡:

→ the confidence to strategize and delegate
→ the clarity to optimize their unique propositions

====

It wasn’t a smooth journey.
Doubts and the pull of comfort zone hit him hard along the way.

Each time, X was committed to overcoming his obstacles to finish what he started.

Today, X has transformed from an exhausted business owner to the confident leader he aspires to be. For himself and his team.

I am proud to be part of his journey and bring his new chapter to life.

As Oprah Winfrey once said,

“Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work hard”

I believe WE CAN, when we choose to.👊

Don’t let ourselves tell us otherwise.

The universe has a unique way of sending us messages.

This time last year, I received a message that I wasn’t expecting.
The work I invested 7 years building no longer requires me.

So when my job left me, I dived straight into searching for my next purpose and identity.
I spent weeks scouring job postings on LinkedIn to find my answers.

When I studied each impressive job description, I felt numb inside.
Each time I asked myself,
if today is my last, would I be happy doing any of those listed tasks?

By last September, I began to understand the universe’s message.
I was looking for a different answer.

At 48, it was not a decision I took lightly.

That was me finding the courage to walk away from what could be my last chance at an ideal corporate role.

I didn’t know what my future holds.
But I knew it would not be about me.

With a leap of faith, I left my comfort nest to restart from ground zero.

I made a promise this new chapter will transcend my personal story.
It will be about helping others find fulfilment and become their best selves.

This vision led to Positive Minds, my coaching practice dedicated to bringing others’ stories to life.

In this new chapter, I want to be a Growth Mindset Coach.
I will dedicate my time to helping others find their hashtag#ICAN and thrive with confidence and courage.

hashtag#ICAN is the power of trusting ourselves.

It represents our ability to overcome challenges and thrive.
When we truly believe in our potential to grow and succeed.
Even when our world doubts us.

The same mentality that pulled me from the grasp of being labelled a ‘no hoper’ at 15, to overcoming many ‘mountains’ in my career and personal life in more ways than I had hoped for.

Today, I am proud to invite you into the home of Positive Minds.

This is more than just a digital storefront.

It is …
→ who I am and what I stand for.
→ my extended hand to join me in embracing the spirit of hashtag#ICAN.
→ my open invitation to those by the sidelines, to step into their power and rewrite their own stories

This took 7 months in the making.
The most difficult part wasn’t the technicality.
It was overcoming myself to rediscover who I am meant to be.

I choose to believe every message has a reason.

Our power is in the choices we make. 👊